Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
