I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
