Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
