Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
