shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize