none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
