why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
