bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize