i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
