dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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