real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
