Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well I just put wine in my tea
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
