the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
