Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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