but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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