i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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