If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
