She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Boobs speak an international language.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
