Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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