How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
