my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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