maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
