But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
