fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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