During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
