I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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