I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I believe in your delicious
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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