very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
