I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
