I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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