entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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