3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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