no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
