After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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