She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
