awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have post one night stand depression
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize