the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
