Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
