just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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