i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
