This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
