oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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