I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
