she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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