Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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