He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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