i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
