Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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