He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
