Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
