Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
