Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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