I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
