I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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