We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
