He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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