Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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