i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
