hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
