Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
