There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize