You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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