Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
