i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this beer tastes like vomit already
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
