When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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