does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
A bitchslap is in order.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
