eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
