that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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