Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I will be naked everywhere
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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