i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
