I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
