So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Come on in and take your pants off
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